Going home I approached a curve and almost ran into a utility marker in the middle of the road. It said "If you bump this, you're going too fast." No, I'm just joking. It was an unmarked road barrier with two
red flags on each end. Turns out that a couple of workers were doing repairs on a broken water pipe.
What's so interesting about
utility markers is that they could be interpreted in different ways. Take this for example, "Left turn yield on green" What the hell does this mean? Another one, "Slow Men Working Ahead". Does this mean that there are lazy workers up ahead? How about this one in Jacksonville, Florida- "CAUTION: This sign has sharp edges" So? It's not that I give every sign a big hug, do I? And this one in a shopping mall - "WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus", and so I yell to my children, " Hey kids, hold my hand...tight!"
Going home and reading the classified ads on my newspaper, I found these gems. "Used tombstone. Perfect for someone named Hendel Bergen Heinzel." Well, good luck in finding your lucky buyer"! "Roasted Turkey For Sale: Partially eaten, but both drumsticks still intact. Only eight days old." Huh? No thanks! "For sale: One pair of hardly-used dentures, only 2 teeth missing" Well, I hope it's the 2 front teeth... Christmas is fast approaching.
What intrigued me the most was a sign outside a church which said "Don't let worries kill you. Let the church help." Ah, uhmmm.... Ok. Finally, here's one for the books. I think this refers to George W. Bush, you know, the almost ex-president. It's from a clothing label (that small tag at the back of your neck, as if you didn't know) from a small American company that sells their product in France. Here's the translation of the French part of the label." Wash with warm water. Use mild soap. Dry flat. Do not use bleach. Do not iron. We are sorry that our president is an idiot. We did not vote for him."
by:
The Flagman
